Is My Child Autistic?

The CDC released new numbers on autism this week. Not surprising, they now acknowledge what so many of us as parents of ASD children already knew. The numbers are staggering; not just 1 in 88, but also 1 in 54 boys. The government has tried to downplay the severity of this epidemic and actually are refusing to call it an epidemic. What? We have heard the excuses that it couldn't be vaccines, environmental toxins or anything like that. It must just be better diagnosing according to the government. Right....we went from 1 in 10,000 in the 1960s to 1 in 88/1 in 54 boys - because our doctors are better?

My daughter was born healthy. She was developing at normal rates until she received a certain set of vaccines. After that, everything changed. She lost language, eye contact and her appetite completely changed. We(my husband and I) believe that there is a genetic component and an environmental one. Just as not all people can have penicillin, not all children should have the toxins and the load of vaccines that are currently part of the schedule. How can one size fits all be good for any person, let alone a child? After much research, we believe that an overload of toxins coupled with an auto-immune disease is what triggered our daughter's autism.

That being said, our daughter didn't fit the normal autistic definition. She was a happy, smiling baby even after we noticed changes. Here are some signs that we noticed, that we have found is common in some children with autism. I share them not to scare anyone, but to offer that the face of autism is changing.

Possible early symptoms of autism:

Covering ears when noise levels are too loud

Lack of eye contact - especially with strangers

Stomach/bowel issues (leaky gut syndrome)

Speech delays/problems

Tactile (extremely sensitive to textures/fabrics both good and bad)

Very limited in what foods they like

Repeating what you say to them instead of answering the question

No fear of dangerous situations

Walking on their tip toes

I hope that this helps you. If you have a child that you suspect is on the spectrum, don't wait to get help. Children can recover and get better. After spending 5 days a week in therapies at Children's Hosp. in MN, going to see our DAN! doctor and completely changing her diet she is now defined as Aspergers vs. regressive autism.

Healing can happen...autism isn't a death sentence although it feels like it the first time you hear the words connected to your child.

Faith, Hope & Healing-
Melissa

Dear God, Please Send Friends

We are now here and living in Nashville, TN! We were fortunate enough to sell our home in MN and buy a home close to a wonderful school for Aleks. My hope was that when it came time to update this blog that life would be settled down and Aleks would be well adjusted and happy. Well...have you ever heard the saying, 'Want to make God laugh?...Then tell him your plans.'

I think that I had forgotten that saying until just now. This move and our adjustment remind me that life happens in God's timing and his schedule.

What this move has taught me is that for a child with autism, a major move is more difficult than any of us (especially me) ever counted on. I thought I understood how difficult a new school and leaving her friends would be. What I didn't realize is that for her, the friendships were her family. For Aleks the friendships she had were vital to her stability and happiness. She had cultivated these friendships for the past several years in MN and leaving them left a hole in her heart. She talks about her friends all the time and she misses them every day. A lot of autistic children have trouble connecting and make true friendships. A lot...but not all autistic children. I remember her teacher in MN telling me that Aleks has real friendships and to make sure her new teacher knows this. She had read the opposite and wanted me to know that Aleks opened her eyes about this subject.

My hope and prayer for her is that she makes those same kinds of friendships here. I worry that the move was too much on her. I worry that I somehow failed her by making her leave all that she knew. I am scared that it is taking so long for her to make friends and feel connected. I'm scared of her acting up in class because she is nervous. I don't share these fears with many people because there is part of me that feels like by saying them out loud they'll be more real. The problem is that my fears have kept me silent and I've promised to share the good and bad in this blog. As always I hope that by sharing the truth of what we're going through it will help all of us grow and learn.

Blessings xo Melissa

A Move and Changes are Ahead...

Whenever I look at this picture, it makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Why? Well, because this picture is everything we've loved about living in Minnesota and what will make it so hard to say good-bye as we move and leave for TN. We had to tell Aleks recently that we're moving and leaving behind her friends, which really are our family, to go someplace unknown.

It is with great sadness and joy that we are leaving. We're sad to leave behind our friends and we're filled with joy at what God has ahead for us as a family in Nashville.

Telling an autistic child that a major change is ahead was scary for us and for her. We weren't sure how she would handle it and whether she would totally grasp the changes ahead. The good news is that she got it, she totally understood that TN would mean leaving MN and moving away. The sad news is that since she got it, she has told us she doesn't want to leave. Besides the reasoning of leaving friends and her school, she said that she doesn't want to leave because, "Mommy, Minnesota has all of my favorite letters in it....M...N..."! She also said that we have to tell our real estate that we want a new house, but in MN, not TN! Pretty funny stuff. She is getting better about moving. What I've learned is that she does understand more then I give her credit for and that she really needs this extra time to process and deal with the move.

As we're preparing for the move, it also means finding the right school and teacher. That for me is the scariest part and hardest part. I know that we really get one shot at moving and getting the right school. We can't ask her to keep making changes so we need to move from MN into her 'forever' home in TN. We also need to make sure that the school is right and can provide for her. She will need the stability of having a home and school that won't be changing anytime soon. For that reason, I ask for your prayers in selling our home quickly so that we can give that to her. BTW, I will continue our blog in TN.

xo

Melissa

Goodbye Sweet Friend...We'll Miss You!

Saying good-bye to a friend is heart breaking. Double that when you watch your child cry and say good-bye to their best friend. For the past year we've been blessed with Kayden, Aleks' best friend living behind us with her grandmother. We couldn't have asked God for a nicer, more understanding friend for Aleks. Kayden understood Aleks quirks and loved her unconditionally. Wow, I know I can learn a lot from Kayden about being a friend.

I was thinking as I cried on Saturday when Kayden told me they were moving Sunday (yes ,the next day) that every day is precious and you just never know what God has in store. I feel so blessed to have witnessed such a great friendship between two little girls. I was thinking that a year plus ago, my prayer to God was for a best friend for Aleks. I don't think I realized until today that God granted me an amazing gift by having this little girl in our lives. It reminds me of the saying..."Some people are in our lives for a lifetime, some for a season." I'm thankful for this past season.

xo

Kids Can Be So Darn Mean!!

Kids can be so darn mean. Haven't we all heard this numerous times and probably said it ourselves. One of the difficult aspects of having a child with autism is seeing how some other kids treat her. I have come to find her quirks and bluntness charming. I know though that other kids have called her behavior 'odd' and 'weird.' I witnessed today a group of girls, a little older than her, being rude to her and rolling their eyes at her. I was furious! To one little girl, I simple told her, "You could say no thank you." (Aleks offered her a drink). You know what, the little girl even rolled her eyes at me. So what do I do? As an adult and as a parent I feel like my choices are so limited in regards to other people's children. Do I say something to them? I feel like I have to be really careful on this one. I always say, how would I want it handled if it were my child. Do I talk to my daughter about their behavior? The problem is that sometimes I notice and she doesn't, so why draw attention to it and make her feel badly about herself. So I'm back to doing a lot of biting my tongue and thinking of all the things I wish that I could say.

I also feel an extra burden besides being a parent of a child with autism of also being a Christian and making sure that what I say reflects that. Here's what I will say, sometimes I do a good job of editing my comments and sometimes I don't do such a good job with my comments or my thoughts. :) I thought that being picked on as a kid was bad, but honestly it is 100 times worse to see my child being picked on. I know that today was really mild, I know that. My fear is that this is just the beginning and that I can't always be there to protect her. Knowing that I will continue to pray for her and pray that God blesses her with some really wonderful friends.

xo Melissa

Post HBOT - What We Learned

We said goodbye to 'subbie' - aka the HBOT chamber on Thursday June 30th. It was with a strange mix of emotions that we finished the HBOT treatments with Aleks. We went from having to argue with her and bribe her into getting into the chamber to having her ask to go in. I actually found that I looked forward to our alone time in the chamber together. We would crawl in, zip it up and disappear into our own little world for an hour. Aleks fondly named the chamber 'subbie' as in submarine and was shouting "good-bye subbie" as it was loaded up and taken away the last day.

Was it worth it? Have we seen any changes? I think as the parents who are with Aleks every day that is a hard question to answer. I will say that both Bill and I feel like we have seen some really positive changes post HBOT. I feel like during HBOT treatments her words were easier for her to find and that her emotions were more even keel. It also seemed like making transitions were easier and less dramatic for her. Since we were gone last week it will be interesting to see how this week goes for her. My hope is that the changes we saw with HBOT are still there this week. It wouldn't be fair to her to say whether or not we're still seeing progress since she was out of her regular routine last week and usually reacts more emotional to change. My hope is that the progress is still in tact and that this week will be another one of moving forward towards healing.

*BTW, I think we did about 20-23 dives @ an average of 60 minutes day.

Blessings xo Melissa

More Than Just A Dad

On this Father's Day I want to say a very special thank you to my wonderful husband. If you're a special needs father, this thank you applies to you too.

To be the father of a special needs child requires a special heart and a special kind of commitment. Over three years ago both our lives changed when Aleks was diagnosed with autism. Although we were both like fish out of water when it came to our knowledge of autism, we were committed to figuring this diagnosis out and getting help. Our jobs were different, but both part of the puzzle. I was the primary researcher and Bill would follow through and implement the needed therapies, diet, supplements, etc. Ever since we moved to MN and Aleks was diagnosed, he has selfishly given up a good chunk of his life to help our daughter . At one point he was at Children's Hospital four days a week for therapies, in addition to driving an hour plus round trip to take Aleks to her DAN doctor. He kept Aleks calm for her chiropractic adjustments, ran to the store to get her supplements when we would run out and sat through countless hours in the observation room and waiting rooms at Childrens. I know we wouldn't have the recovering little girl today that we have if it weren't for her daddy. That is why on this Father's Day I want to say thank you to the most committed father I've ever met, my husband. As Aleks says, "You're the best daddy in the whole entire world and I love you."

xo

HBOT - Day 1...

The HBOT - Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy chamber is up and in our home. The chamber, concentrator and compressor are the three parts that deliver oxygen in a pressurized chamber. To better understand HBOT and why we're using it to help heal Aleks, here is a link to the Holland Center which is located here in MN. They are a FANTASTIC organization and a great place to start if you're new on the autism journey. They do a great job explaining HBOT and what it can do for our children.

Day 1 - June 6th - 5pm - Time in fully pressurized chamber- 45 min.

Post Dive Changes: Mood seemed better post dive/More talkative?

This is truly our first full session today using the HBOT chamber. The first time we actually tried the chamber we underestimated the pressure it puts on the ears. This scared Aleks and sent her into a panic. This time, we were prepared for the ear pressure and also for the panic of being in such a small space and the noise of the chamber.

I think both Bill and I also underestimated how difficult it would be to get our daughter into the HBOT unit. The chamber is seven feet long and once inflated just tall enough for her to sit up in and tall enough for me to sit up in, if I'm bent over. It's meant for laying down and is big enough for both of us to stretch out in. Aleks didn't mind crawling in with her blankie, Pillow pet and iPad, but she did mind when we zipped it up and started the concentrator and then the compressor. You could actually see the panic in her eyes. I saw it firsthand, because I was in there with her. In fact, one of us will be in there with her every single time we go in for a 'dive'.

The chamber pressurizes slowly and effects your ears a lot like flying. I would say it's a little more intense than flying but once it's fully pressurized you don't feel the ear pressure anymore. Today when we went in for our 'dive' I could see Aleks start to panic(pounding and screaming to let her out) and complain that the chamber was "freaking her out". We had given Aleks her first half stick of gum for her ears and also taken some juice in there for her so that she could swallow and allow her ears to pressurize. It wasn't easy keeping her calm and in there but after the first 10 minutes she did calm down and was able to watch a movie on the iPad. We actually got 45 minutes out of her before she had to go to the bathroom. All in all, success!

From here on out I'm going to update how long we went in and any changes we see with her behavior, speech, sleep or whatever the HBOT effects. Both Bill and I did notice that after the chamber she was in a great mood and seemed more talkative.

xo

Melissa

We're Going HBOT Baby!

It's not that I am so smart, it's that I stay with problems longer. ~Albert Einstein

If you're looking at this picture and asking yourself what in the world is that, say hello to HBOT. HBOT is otherwise known as Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. It's a therapy that delivers pure oxygen in a pressurized chamber. The HBOT was originally used to treat Olympic athletes who had injuries. It was found that the pure oxygen helped their bodies heal faster. Then it was found that HBOT also worked on stroke victims to help their brains heal...then the autism community found out about it. Like most biomedical treatments for autism, HBOT is not paid for by insurance and of course isn't cheap. What we do know is that thousands of parents swear that their children's symptoms, language and behavior changed for the better after doing a series of 'dives' in a HBOT chamber. Dives are the time that the child/parent go into the HBOT chamber and stays in their breathing pure oxygen.

For us, it hasn't seemed like the right time until now to try out HBOT. There were issues with other therapies, school and finding the time to travel back and forth every day for treatments. We decided to try something new this summer. With the help and advice from our DAN doctor, Dr. Spore, we are renting an HBOT chamber for a month this summer. We'll be able to do the dives at home. What finally made us decide to try it was the "what do we have to lose" idea. Money? As my girlfriend Julie said, "Money, you can always make more." True, so what's to lose from trying HBOT? We decided that now is the right time for us to try this. I'll be giving updates once we start on what we're seeing, what's it's like and whether we are seeing progress. HBOT helps increase blood flow to the brain and we know from research that the brain is able to heal itself. To me, this is really exciting and a natural way to help Aleks body and brain heal. We'll keep you posted! If you have any advice or questions, please let me know. I'll be more than happy to answer them in my future blogs.

Faith, Hope & HEALING ~ xo Melissa

Losing a Tooth Can Be Scary

Losing a tooth can be really dramatic when you're on the spectrum. I never would have known that before my daughter Aleks came into my life. In fact, I thought the most important part about losing a tooth all had to do with the tooth fairy and how much money she left under the pillow. Two lost teeth later and one still loose tooth, I have an all new appreciation for what Aleks must have felt when she lost her first tooth.

Her loose tooth story begins like most kids. Aleks had a loose tooth, asked what would happen and was excited at the prospect of losing a tooth. The reality was very different. Aleks came home from school that day and said 'Mommy, my tooth is super loose.' She was eating her dinner when she yelled that her tooth just came out. She pulled it out of her mouth, looked at it and handed it to me. I told her how excited I was for her, which is when her tears started flowing. I thought maybe I acted too excited, was too loud or something along those lines. That wasn't it at all. She was upset because as she said, "Mommy, I lost part of my body." Wow, I had never looked at losing a tooth quite like that. She sat on my lap, we held her tooth and I let her cry. I then explained that it was okay to lose a tooth, it was a baby tooth and since she was becoming a big girl she needed a big tooth. We got out a mirror and I showed her the tooth that was coming to replace it. I also told her that everyone loses teeth and that she'll lose more but that there will be others to replace them. Finally, she was okay with losing her tooth. The night ended with her making me promise that the tooth fairy wouldn't take her tooth and that she could keep it. She said she was also scared of the tooth fairy coming in while she sleeping and that it scared her. Good point, that would scare me too!

xo

Melissa

Running a Race for Special Kids

In two short weeks, my husband Bill will once again and for the last time run the Twin Cities Marathon in honor of Aleks. Last year he came up with the idea to run not just in her honor, but to raise money for children and their families with autism. This year he is raising money for AuSM-Autism Society of Minnesota. They provide camps for children with autism, special movie showing for autistic families and educational work shops for parents. Bill runs in two weeks and has set up a website link in case you're interested in donating. Here is the link...

This past year Bill has not only been training for the marathon, but also had his own scare with melanoma. He had to take time off of training after going through surgery on his head and lymph nodes. For me, this year's marathon carries a lot of extra meaning. My daughter is in kindergarten and doing fantastic and my husband is healthy after going through his own cancer scare.

You never know what a year will bring and I am just so grateful for where we are right now, today.

God Bless you and your family and thank you for supporting all of us.

xo

Lessons from the Summer...

I am so sorry that I am just now writing again on my blog. I have to say that we have had such a great summer as a family that I have just been lax in writing. The great news is that we have seen so much growth in Aleks this summer that I feel more at ease about Kindergarten in a few weeks. I have also been blessed to talk with so many parents and teachers who read this blog and are walking their own journey with autism in so many different ways. Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I learn from you as much as you feel like you learn from me.

Some of the lessons I've learned this summer I want to share with you in hopes that they'll touch you or someone you know.

Lesson #1: My daughter is capable of so much more than I ever give her credit for. I am constantly amazed at how much she knows, how quickly she learns but also her love for life and adventure. Over the summer we had the great fortune to spend a weekend at our friends' cabin on a lake in Northwestern Minnesota. I knew Aleks would love the lake, swimming and just being with their two kids. What I never expected was Aleks riding in a special two person tube pulled behind a speed boat. Not only did she and her friend ride in the tube but she LOVED it and wanted to go longer and faster! She wasn't scared, but excited. Had my girlfriend not encouraged me to let her try I never would have thought she could do it. How wrong I was to think I knew her limitations. Check....learned that lesson.

Lesson #2: You will never believe the growth that is just around the corner. I met a teacher last year who has a daughter in 8th grade who is also on the spectrum. The teacher shared with me that her daughter isn't the same little girl who went into Kindergarten. She shared how much her daughter initially struggled in school and how different she is today. Today, this same little girl is in 8th grade, gets off the bus on her own, walks home, calls mom to check in and starts her homework...all on her own. She told me that if I had asked her when her daughter was 5 if this day would ever come she would have said probably not, but she sure hoped so. Today, I see huge jumps of growth in Aleks that a year ago I couldn't imagine. Check...lesson being learned everyday on this one.

Lesson #3: How to be a friend. This is a simple and yet poignant lesson for me. I know that a lot of our kids share this trait; they are just plain accepting of others no matter what their physical or mental challenges. Recently we had Aleks at her swim lessons when a mother and a teenage daughter with Down Syndrome walked in. I've seen this young girl many times and knew that she didn't speak very often but always walked in with a smile. Some of the other girls in the locker room were staring, not Aleks. In fact, she was in the shower in her suit and walked out and stood right in front of this young woman. She stuck out her soapy, soaking wet hand and said, "Hi, my name is Aleks. Would you like to be my friend?" I watched this young woman's face light up as she shook Aleks hand and jumped up and down. Aleks was thrilled and then gave her a hug. That was it, but it was so moving. I looked up at the other girl's mother and saw her teary eyes looking back at me. It was a huge moment of pride in my daughter and a huge moment for me of celebrating her differences.

This summer has been about lessons, adventures and amazing growth for all of us. I can't wait to read this a year from now and see where we are. To put it in perspective, 2 1/2 years ago my daughter was testing at a 12 to 18 month old range with her vocabulary and large/small motor skills. Today, she is testing at 5 years old+. Thank you God.

xo

Melissa

Kindergarten is Right Around the Corner...Chhaannges

Happy June 1st!

How in the world is another school year almost over and summer here again? It is hard for me to believe and harder for me to write that Aleks will be in Kindergarten this fall. We had the privilege of meeting with her teachers and the staff at her Kindergarten last week to get an update on her progress and to also see what next year would look like for her. Both my husband, Bill and I got choked up listening to how much progress she has made in the past year of school. She went from starting the year with some screaming and hiding to ending it being one of the top students for phonetics. The other amazing news is that her speech therapist, Susan, is recommending that we go down to ST one day a week from two. This is huge news for Aleks and credit to all of the hard work she and Susan have been doing. To give you a brief overview, Susan, our ST, has been with Aleks from the beginning. Even before she had the official autism diagnosis, Susan was there. In our first meeting with Susan, which was two years ago, Aleks screamed, hit and hid in the corner of the room. She would hardly make eye contact and just ran around or hid almost the entire intake time. Now fast forward two years and Aleks is a totally different child. She greets Susan, goes back for therapy with her and is willing to do her work. What an amazing difference! Thank you Susan!

This past weekend we spent it in Colorado for my dad's birthday. Another change in Aleks is how well she did in a room of 75 people at a rather loud party. Not only did she talk to people she didn't know, but she danced and just had fun. She didn't yell or hide and was just happy to be there. One of the lessons she has taught us is to listen to her and when she says something to believe it. So, when she looked at us at the party and said, "I need to go, I'm getting tired.", we left the party. On Sunday, before the party began, she told me that she needed me to just hold her and sit in the bathtub. I did and the funk she was starting to get into went away. I don't know if all autistic children are in touch this much with their bodies and emotional needs, but I constantly learn a lot from Aleks. She asks for what she needs and makes no apologies. When she can't do something she'll tell you. When someone is upsetting her or making her feel awkward she tells them. What an amazing concept if we could all live our lives that honestly and openly. As a parent I find that my role in this is telling people to please listen to her and if she is asking you to stop staring at her or making her feel uncomfortable to please stop! A therapist of Aleks' said this, when you keep doing something to an autistic child that they've asked you to stop, it's child abuse. Makes it pretty cut and dry doesn't it?

Thank you to everyone for the prayers and continued interest in Aleks' story. It's far from over but I love that not only do I see change, but also growth and the potential for more.

xo

Melissa

Our Autism Story Hits TC Television

I feel totally blessed to have been able to go on 'Twin Cities Live' here in Minneapolis and share our story with autism. Despite being nervous about being on television, the story just told itself. If you didn't get a chance to see it, hopefully you can CLICK HERE and watch it.

Thank you to everyone for all of the kind emails here and at work that I've received about the story. As many of you who share my beliefs know, it's not always easy. I don't think I ever really appreciated the doors that Jenny McCarthy and so many others opened by sharing their views on autism, vaccines, environmental factors and how treatments can help a child with autism. I know that although I get a lot of support, I also get a lot of resentment and just plain hate from many doctors, hospitals and families. I've been accused of being "anti-vaccine" and been told that I'm propagating lies. To this I reply, you are wrong on both fronts. Read my previous blog entries and read it carefully.

ALSO, Please join me for the second annual Autism 5K at Lake Calhoun, MN on May 15th. Click here for more information!

Much love-

xo

Melissa

World Autism Awareness Day-Two Years in Review

Friday, April 2nd is International Autism Awareness Day - Wear Blue in Support!

As a mom of an autistic five year old little girl, I am constantly amazed at a few things. First, that it has now been two years since we first heard the word autism linked to our daughter. Two years and with God's blessings numerous wonderful doctors and therapists later. I refer to this as blessings because without her Speech Therapist, Susan, Occupational Therapist, Kathy, her Physical Therapist, Patty, her DAN! Doctor, Dr. Spore or her wonderful preschool teacher, Marcia, I don't know where we would be today. Her 'team' is patient, kind, tough when they need to be and always wanting and expecting the best of her. I know how fortunate we are to have every single one of them in our and Aleks' life. When I look back two years ago, I see a little girl who was testing at around 18 months in various areas, mostly non-verbal and was lost in her own world. Aleks didn't understand much of what we said and we just thought it was a speech delay. Now fast forward two years later and her Speech Therapist just got done administering a test where she tested close to her actual age! I say this with so much respect for her and how hard she works every single day, in every thing that she does.

The second thing that I am really left with after two years is this; My daughter has autism and works harder every single day than most of us will ever have to work in our lives. She doesn't know that she has to work hard, for her it is just what she has to do. She works to find the right words to express her thoughts or finish a sentence. She works to control her body when it just wants to move and the world says you have to sit still. She works hard when she runs down our hill to get her ball and has to work extra hard to keep her feet from getting out from under her and falling down. She works hard when she puts on her coat and has to turn her body to put her arm in her coat and use her fingers to find the zipper and zip it up. She works hard at having the strength to put on her shoes and pull the Velcro straps herself. She works hard holding a fork and balancing her food on it. She works hard up until the moment she goes to bed. Then finally at the end of a day of working hard, she rests. I may never know just how hard she works, but I know how far she has come and the work it must have taken to get there.

Thank you Aleks for constantly teaching me to be a better person. Thank you for helping to grow the seeds of compassion and love that you planted when God gave you to me.

Love -

M-

Who Do I Explain Autism To & When?

I don't know if other parents of children with autism struggle with my current struggle or not. With an autism diagnosis two years in our rearview mirror I am wondering now how often and who do I explain Aleks' condition to. Am I obligated to tell every person who has to spend time with her in a caregiving role? If so, do I tell them about autism or do I explain it in an easier way such as a learning disability or that she struggles with social interaction? I started really wondering this when Aleks started going to swim lessons. From the outside looking in, I would have thought that she was being difficult at times and just wouldn't listen. I finally told the instructor at week 4 that she struggles with some learning and social issues. I don't think that the instructor got what I was trying to say, which lead me to my current question. Who, when and how much do I explain about my child's autism?

I struggle too with wanting others to be more tolerant and understanding, but I'm also afraid of her being locked into a stereotype. What is the right choice? To let others think what they want of her or to explain it in hopes that she'll receive more compassion and understanding. What I'm not wanting to do is make excuses for her when she acts up like a typical child. The problem is that even I don't always know what is autistic behavior and what is 4-5 year old. Sometimes I think it's a little of both and then what do I say?

As Kindergarten is fast approaching I find that the challenges are different and ever evolving. I so want to do what is right and honorable for her. I want to empower her for who she is and all that she is. She is a loving, beautiful and smart little girl who has autism. She didn't ask for it and doesn't ask for any extra understanding. What she does deserve and need is kindness, respect and understanding. I am not always sure how to get this for her, but I know that for now it is my job to fight for her in all that I can.

Blessings-

Melissa

Ugh...Rice Strikes Again & Why Fish Oil Rocks

I would love to talk about Dr. Wakefield's autism study but I'm going to leave that to Jenny McCarthy & Generation Rescue. What a great response...thanks Jenny! Please read for yourself here if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Rice strikes again! Several months ago we started putting rice slowly back into Aleks' diet. It seemed to be going so well. I was able to buy some products at the store and she seemed to be tolerating the rice products well. I started using organic rice flours in some of my baking as well as her non-rice/her typical foods, but rice was now back in. Somehow during our riceapalooza she started changing. I'm not sure when it happened but she started rejecting her apple juice with the Nordic Naturals Fish Oil & Super Nu Thera in it. So, we cut out the fish oil and Super Nu Thera thinking we'd figure out how to work it back in. Problem is just like everything it became habit and we didn't get it back in. Now fast forward several months and she has no fish oil on a daily basis, occasional Super Nu Thera and her rice intake had increase dramatically.

At this point, I have to say thank God for wonderful therapists and teachers who point out when things aren't going well. We thought all the irritability and non-compliance was due to a high fever and sickness she had last Fall. Yes, some of it was but at this point I don't believe it was all from the illness. Fast forward to January and we are hearing from her therapists and from her teacher at school that she is extra sensitive, irritable and won't follow directions easily. What is going on with our child?? You see, we didn't put the above together with her behavior at all. I sent her doctor a note and she asked about the fish oil? Oh! That's when I started thinking about all of her supplements and diet again. I reevaluated it just like I had done a year and a half ago. I knew I was going to take the rice out again, but how did I get her to drink the juice with Super Nu Thera and the teaspoon of fish out that she needed? I felt overwhelmed and scared. If this behavior kept going on her opportunities for Kindergarten would also be effected. She just wasn't fitting in. I took to praying and researching and woke up one morning and told Bill (husband) that the Super Nu Thera and a 1/4 t. fish oil had to be in her first morning apple juice. I felt confident that if it was first and extra cold that she would drink it. First time she started to stay something, but was so thirsty she did drink it. Success!! After that we made the commitment that every juice would have 1/4 t. fish oil in it no matter what.

It has now been 3 weeks since we took out the rice and put the fish oil back in. The changes are amazing. She is calmer, her therapists say she has never been better and she isn't crying as often. In fact she can bump her leg and just say ouch! I did try and give her rice again one day just to see if it was all fish oil or the combo of the rice and fish oil. The rice gave her dark circles, hyperactivity and irritability. Plus, she was seriously craving any rice product for days afterwards. Yep, rice is once again on her no eat list.

I learned through all of this that I/we have to be vigilant with food and supplements. I have to constantly be evaluating her behavior and monitoring what she is eating. I also learned that there are other ways to get the right supplements in my daughter. I may have to give mini-doses to get one full dose but I'll get there. I am reminded of what many wise parents have told me, autism isn't a race but a marathon. Thanks to the many runners who are with me.

xo

Melissa

To Vaccinate or Not To Vaccinate? Is It Safe?

I've been receiving a lot of emails recently regarding vaccinations. The questions range from asking about my personal beliefs on vaccines to whether or not it is safe to vaccinate at all. The other question I am often asked is if there is a "safe" vaccine schedule. Before I delve into any of this let me say this very clear, I am not a doctor and have no medical training. I am a mother of a child on the spectrum who witnessed first hand a vaccine injury in my own daughter. Due to this I have become a research machine. I think my time in journalism/news was a blessing in helping me navigate between medical journals, books, blogs, doctors interviews and other research. I also want to point out that I am not anti-vaccine. I am anti-the current vaccine schedule and anti-how 'dirty' or toxic our vaccines currently have become.

Did you know that according to the American Academy of Pediatrics current vaccine guidelines that a child today will receive 36 vaccines. Most of these by the time they are 15 months old! Compare this to the 1983 vaccine schedule of just 10 vaccines. In 1983, 1 in 10,000 children were diagnosed with autism. Today that number is a staggering 1 in 100. For boys the incidence is even higher. I am not saying it is all vaccines, but I do believe there is a connection. I also know that I witnessed first hand a healthy child drop into the dark world of autism following a group of vaccines. I do believe that a family history of autoimmune diseases combined with toxic filled vaccines were the one-two punch that delivered autism to our front door. I should also note that on top of these two things that it was also discovered my daughter was allergic to eggs and yeast. Both of these are precursors according to the DAN protocol not to receive the HepB and MMR vaccines. Both of which she did.

Click here for the current DAN vaccine guidelines. Click here for the 1983 vaccine protocol. I would also recommend that you head over to the Generation Rescue website to read more about vaccines, safe schedules and what a safer vaccine schedule looks like. Here are a few other questions that I think are important to ask:

Look at your current health and ask yourself how many vaccines did you receive as a child? Are you a healthy adult or did you need more? Does your family have an autoimmune disease (celiac disease is an autoimmune disease)? Do you or your child have food allergies or sensitivities? Egg and yeast sensitivity can be a problem with a few of the current vaccines. Do you know what each current vaccine is for and what is in them?

Here is what I do know and feel comfortable stating:

1. You are your child's advocate and have the right to say yes or no to any vaccine.

2. NEVER give a sick (even a cold!) child any vaccine

3. NEVER give a vaccine with thimerosal (mercury) in it

4. Ask to see and read the vial of the vaccine and the insert of any vaccine BEFORE it is administered.

5. Double check the expiration date of the vaccine.

6. Space out vaccines and break apart/space apart any double/triple all-in-one vaccines

7. Talk to a DAN! doctor before having a vaccine done to make sure your child is healthy enough and has done enough pre- and post-supplements regarding a vaccine.

I hope that this blog will make you stop, think and do your own research. I really don't feel that I should or can tell any other parent what is right for their child. I do believe though that I am supposed to put the questions out there and make you stop and think. Too often we are told by doctors or someone else what is best for our child. We believe that because they have a higher level of education and have passed rigorous tests that they know what is best. I think we transfer our children's advocacy to others all to often and all to easy. I have done it in the past and I have to constantly remind myself not to do it again.

Faith, Hope & Healing-

Melissa

Running for a Reason

Last Sunday my husband, Bill, took off on a 26.2 mile run for autism. For the second year in a row, he ran the Twin Cities marathon and dedicated it to our daughter, Aleks. The difference this year is that besides running for awareness he ran for all the other children with autism. He came up with the idea of emailing our friends and family and asking them to support him financially through TACA (Talk About Curing Autism). There is a chapter here in MN and their purpose isn't research, but supporting children and their families. For many children with autism their families can't afford a DAN doctor or therapies. TACA supports these children financially and gets them the help that can save their lives. That is why this year Bill ran for Aleks and the thousands of other children with autism.

With the support of friends and family, we raised $2,600 for TACA of MN. Thank you to everyone who supported us financially and with their prayers. Bill made his all time personal best marathon time and did it for an amazing organization. Bill's idea made me realize what a difference we can each make when we set our minds to it. Every person and family who donated made that difference happen for our kids. They are 'our' kids too. They are our sons and daughters, family members, relatives, neighbors and children's classmates. Some day they will be our teachers, doctors, mothers, friends and leaders. What we are investing in these children now will change the world.

Blessings-

Melissa

Swine Flu Vaccine - Dangerous & Untested?

The swine flu, H1N1, is scary for a lot of parents. I've talked to many parents who are concerned about their child catching H1N1 but they're equally concerned about the vaccine. As the parent of a child on the spectrum what do you do? I have my personal views on vaccines. I know that my daughter suffered a vaccine injury around 12 months and that it will be a cold day in H--- before I give her another vaccine. What bothers me is the way fear is being marketed around the H1N1 and the way the vaccine is being pushed on parents and their children. Let me be clear, I am not anti-vaccine. I believe there is a place and time for 'healthy' vaccines and I believe in a safe vaccine schedule. I believe that all children are NOT created equal for vaccines. I believe that there needs to be a test to see if a child is well enough to handle vaccines. I also believe that common sense dictates that a child with an autoimmune disease, like Celiac Disease, has a lowered immune system and can not handle the toxin load that is in our current vaccines. That being said, I am very upset at the push for the current H1N1 vaccine.

Did you know that the H1N1 vaccine makers are immune from any lawsuits from people claiming injuries from these vaccines? The Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sibelius has not only given immunity to the vaccine makers for any injuries that may be sustained from the vaccines, but has also given the makers of Tamiflu & Relenza immunity for injuries stemming from their use against the swine flu. If you get sick from the swine flu vaccine or from Tamiflu or Relenza in dealing with the swine flu, you will have no recourse. If the vaccine were 100% safe why would immunity be already granted?? This just doesn't make sense to me, so I started doing some research. What I found is that the 'fear' of the swine flu is propelling manufacturers to rush out vaccines that are loaded with toxins (including ethylene glycol, formaldehyde, phenol (carbolic acid) and even antibiotics like Neomycin and streptomycin.) Remember these vaccines and toxins go directly into your bloodstream. Click here to read more on the vaccines and risks.

The decision to vaccinate your child is a personal one. I can not and have never claimed I know what is right for every child. What I have learned is that we have every right and we must constantly be on guard against what we are told is the best and the right thing for our children. I don't believe that anyone purposely sets out to harm our children by advising these vaccines. Unfortunately our children are treated like cookie cutter children, where one size fits all. As parents of children with ASD we have the duty and obligation to let our doctors and lawmakers know that this is not the case. We also deserve healthy vaccines that are properly tested. Not vaccines filled with toxins that are rushed out the door to combat a so-called fear that hasn't materialized as of yet. Take the time, ask questions and make an informed decision about the H1N1 vaccine.

xo

Melissa