We are now here and living in Nashville, TN! We were fortunate enough to sell our home in MN and buy a home close to a wonderful school for Aleks. My hope was that when it came time to update this blog that life would be settled down and Aleks would be well adjusted and happy. Well...have you ever heard the saying, 'Want to make God laugh?...Then tell him your plans.'
I think that I had forgotten that saying until just now. This move and our adjustment remind me that life happens in God's timing and his schedule.
What this move has taught me is that for a child with autism, a major move is more difficult than any of us (especially me) ever counted on. I thought I understood how difficult a new school and leaving her friends would be. What I didn't realize is that for her, the friendships were her family. For Aleks the friendships she had were vital to her stability and happiness. She had cultivated these friendships for the past several years in MN and leaving them left a hole in her heart. She talks about her friends all the time and she misses them every day. A lot of autistic children have trouble connecting and make true friendships. A lot...but not all autistic children. I remember her teacher in MN telling me that Aleks has real friendships and to make sure her new teacher knows this. She had read the opposite and wanted me to know that Aleks opened her eyes about this subject.
My hope and prayer for her is that she makes those same kinds of friendships here. I worry that the move was too much on her. I worry that I somehow failed her by making her leave all that she knew. I am scared that it is taking so long for her to make friends and feel connected. I'm scared of her acting up in class because she is nervous. I don't share these fears with many people because there is part of me that feels like by saying them out loud they'll be more real. The problem is that my fears have kept me silent and I've promised to share the good and bad in this blog. As always I hope that by sharing the truth of what we're going through it will help all of us grow and learn.
Blessings xo Melissa
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6 comments:
Melissa, hang in there! God will help Aleks make new friends in ur new home. I completely understand how u feel and I wish I could know so much about Autism like u do. Our Son's school finally diagnosed my Son with Autism and I just dont know anything abouth it. What u describe about Alecks is what my Son is going thru and he has been at the same school since he started Kindergarden. I have high hopes that my Son will soon will have friends and you keep your hopes and prayers that the same will be for Alecks. Keep us posted and thank u for sharing ur blog on facebook, I did not know you had this. God bless.
Keep the faith. If you are able to, get her involved with Girl Scouts. My daughter has ADHD(extreme case) and that has scared off friends with her sometimes. I also moved her to a new area and it was rough on her. She had gone to the same school since Kindergarten to 2nd grade. She had her friends established and it was hard to adjust to this. Slowly over time it has gotten better. But Girl scouts has helped. Everyone accepts one another in girl scouts. She feels special while we are there and has helped her gain more friends from this. I hope this can help. If you don't do girl scouts, maybe another group can help her out. Best of Luck and MINNESOTA misses you!
Hi Melissa,
Although this will not capture our whole story, we too went through a similar adjustment period with Gavin when we moved here to MN. It was tough. The worst days were when he cried for his friends back in FL. I would try my best to be strong for him but, many days, it was just too hard and we'd cry together. It killed me to see him hurting. The best thing you can do for her is to get her involved. Find something she enjoys, be it the playground at a busy time of day or some kind of sport (karate is always a good one for self esteem building). Just know that with a lot of love and encouragement (and maybe an occasional call to one of her old friends), she will get through it. Every kid has their own pace. You are a great mom and made the move for the right reasons. Good will bless you for it. You just have to believe that the decision you made was the right one. No one builds relationships overnight, nor do they separate from them that quickly. Praying for her that friends come her way in the near future and that God helps you all through this time quickly.
Love from MN :)
Hey Melissa - My son has very mild Asperger syndrome (affecting his social skills and abilities to bond with kids his own age) so I can definitely feel your uncertainty. Aleks sounds like a wonderful girl and there are kids out there in every school who have a heart for special needs kids. Her teachers will be instrumental in getting her connected with those kinds of kids. Prayers!!
I totally understand... Please stay strong. All will fall into place as it should...have faith. Even as I say that, I too fear for the day our middle school age boy's best friend goes off to college. The boy is older and will leave 4 yrs ahead of him. Those formative years. But I just have to leave it to God...it's out of our hands. AGH! Sometimes that is sp hard! Esp. when we've been so involved in the therapies, inventions, IEP's and day to day BS up until now.
Take care...
PS...I have a 9 yr old girl with potential...going through diagnosis now...LD...Dyslexia...ADHD...who really needs a penpal or email pal if interested. No need to publish this. Just a thought.
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