Is My Child Autistic?

The CDC released new numbers on autism this week. Not surprising, they now acknowledge what so many of us as parents of ASD children already knew. The numbers are staggering; not just 1 in 88, but also 1 in 54 boys. The government has tried to downplay the severity of this epidemic and actually are refusing to call it an epidemic. What? We have heard the excuses that it couldn't be vaccines, environmental toxins or anything like that. It must just be better diagnosing according to the government. Right....we went from 1 in 10,000 in the 1960s to 1 in 88/1 in 54 boys - because our doctors are better?

My daughter was born healthy. She was developing at normal rates until she received a certain set of vaccines. After that, everything changed. She lost language, eye contact and her appetite completely changed. We(my husband and I) believe that there is a genetic component and an environmental one. Just as not all people can have penicillin, not all children should have the toxins and the load of vaccines that are currently part of the schedule. How can one size fits all be good for any person, let alone a child? After much research, we believe that an overload of toxins coupled with an auto-immune disease is what triggered our daughter's autism.

That being said, our daughter didn't fit the normal autistic definition. She was a happy, smiling baby even after we noticed changes. Here are some signs that we noticed, that we have found is common in some children with autism. I share them not to scare anyone, but to offer that the face of autism is changing.

Possible early symptoms of autism:

Covering ears when noise levels are too loud

Lack of eye contact - especially with strangers

Stomach/bowel issues (leaky gut syndrome)

Speech delays/problems

Tactile (extremely sensitive to textures/fabrics both good and bad)

Very limited in what foods they like

Repeating what you say to them instead of answering the question

No fear of dangerous situations

Walking on their tip toes

I hope that this helps you. If you have a child that you suspect is on the spectrum, don't wait to get help. Children can recover and get better. After spending 5 days a week in therapies at Children's Hosp. in MN, going to see our DAN! doctor and completely changing her diet she is now defined as Aspergers vs. regressive autism.

Healing can happen...autism isn't a death sentence although it feels like it the first time you hear the words connected to your child.

Faith, Hope & Healing-
Melissa

Dear God, Please Send Friends

We are now here and living in Nashville, TN! We were fortunate enough to sell our home in MN and buy a home close to a wonderful school for Aleks. My hope was that when it came time to update this blog that life would be settled down and Aleks would be well adjusted and happy. Well...have you ever heard the saying, 'Want to make God laugh?...Then tell him your plans.'

I think that I had forgotten that saying until just now. This move and our adjustment remind me that life happens in God's timing and his schedule.

What this move has taught me is that for a child with autism, a major move is more difficult than any of us (especially me) ever counted on. I thought I understood how difficult a new school and leaving her friends would be. What I didn't realize is that for her, the friendships were her family. For Aleks the friendships she had were vital to her stability and happiness. She had cultivated these friendships for the past several years in MN and leaving them left a hole in her heart. She talks about her friends all the time and she misses them every day. A lot of autistic children have trouble connecting and make true friendships. A lot...but not all autistic children. I remember her teacher in MN telling me that Aleks has real friendships and to make sure her new teacher knows this. She had read the opposite and wanted me to know that Aleks opened her eyes about this subject.

My hope and prayer for her is that she makes those same kinds of friendships here. I worry that the move was too much on her. I worry that I somehow failed her by making her leave all that she knew. I am scared that it is taking so long for her to make friends and feel connected. I'm scared of her acting up in class because she is nervous. I don't share these fears with many people because there is part of me that feels like by saying them out loud they'll be more real. The problem is that my fears have kept me silent and I've promised to share the good and bad in this blog. As always I hope that by sharing the truth of what we're going through it will help all of us grow and learn.

Blessings xo Melissa

A Move and Changes are Ahead...

Whenever I look at this picture, it makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Why? Well, because this picture is everything we've loved about living in Minnesota and what will make it so hard to say good-bye as we move and leave for TN. We had to tell Aleks recently that we're moving and leaving behind her friends, which really are our family, to go someplace unknown.

It is with great sadness and joy that we are leaving. We're sad to leave behind our friends and we're filled with joy at what God has ahead for us as a family in Nashville.

Telling an autistic child that a major change is ahead was scary for us and for her. We weren't sure how she would handle it and whether she would totally grasp the changes ahead. The good news is that she got it, she totally understood that TN would mean leaving MN and moving away. The sad news is that since she got it, she has told us she doesn't want to leave. Besides the reasoning of leaving friends and her school, she said that she doesn't want to leave because, "Mommy, Minnesota has all of my favorite letters in it....M...N..."! She also said that we have to tell our real estate that we want a new house, but in MN, not TN! Pretty funny stuff. She is getting better about moving. What I've learned is that she does understand more then I give her credit for and that she really needs this extra time to process and deal with the move.

As we're preparing for the move, it also means finding the right school and teacher. That for me is the scariest part and hardest part. I know that we really get one shot at moving and getting the right school. We can't ask her to keep making changes so we need to move from MN into her 'forever' home in TN. We also need to make sure that the school is right and can provide for her. She will need the stability of having a home and school that won't be changing anytime soon. For that reason, I ask for your prayers in selling our home quickly so that we can give that to her. BTW, I will continue our blog in TN.

xo

Melissa

Goodbye Sweet Friend...We'll Miss You!

Saying good-bye to a friend is heart breaking. Double that when you watch your child cry and say good-bye to their best friend. For the past year we've been blessed with Kayden, Aleks' best friend living behind us with her grandmother. We couldn't have asked God for a nicer, more understanding friend for Aleks. Kayden understood Aleks quirks and loved her unconditionally. Wow, I know I can learn a lot from Kayden about being a friend.

I was thinking as I cried on Saturday when Kayden told me they were moving Sunday (yes ,the next day) that every day is precious and you just never know what God has in store. I feel so blessed to have witnessed such a great friendship between two little girls. I was thinking that a year plus ago, my prayer to God was for a best friend for Aleks. I don't think I realized until today that God granted me an amazing gift by having this little girl in our lives. It reminds me of the saying..."Some people are in our lives for a lifetime, some for a season." I'm thankful for this past season.

xo

Kids Can Be So Darn Mean!!

Kids can be so darn mean. Haven't we all heard this numerous times and probably said it ourselves. One of the difficult aspects of having a child with autism is seeing how some other kids treat her. I have come to find her quirks and bluntness charming. I know though that other kids have called her behavior 'odd' and 'weird.' I witnessed today a group of girls, a little older than her, being rude to her and rolling their eyes at her. I was furious! To one little girl, I simple told her, "You could say no thank you." (Aleks offered her a drink). You know what, the little girl even rolled her eyes at me. So what do I do? As an adult and as a parent I feel like my choices are so limited in regards to other people's children. Do I say something to them? I feel like I have to be really careful on this one. I always say, how would I want it handled if it were my child. Do I talk to my daughter about their behavior? The problem is that sometimes I notice and she doesn't, so why draw attention to it and make her feel badly about herself. So I'm back to doing a lot of biting my tongue and thinking of all the things I wish that I could say.

I also feel an extra burden besides being a parent of a child with autism of also being a Christian and making sure that what I say reflects that. Here's what I will say, sometimes I do a good job of editing my comments and sometimes I don't do such a good job with my comments or my thoughts. :) I thought that being picked on as a kid was bad, but honestly it is 100 times worse to see my child being picked on. I know that today was really mild, I know that. My fear is that this is just the beginning and that I can't always be there to protect her. Knowing that I will continue to pray for her and pray that God blesses her with some really wonderful friends.

xo Melissa

Post HBOT - What We Learned

We said goodbye to 'subbie' - aka the HBOT chamber on Thursday June 30th. It was with a strange mix of emotions that we finished the HBOT treatments with Aleks. We went from having to argue with her and bribe her into getting into the chamber to having her ask to go in. I actually found that I looked forward to our alone time in the chamber together. We would crawl in, zip it up and disappear into our own little world for an hour. Aleks fondly named the chamber 'subbie' as in submarine and was shouting "good-bye subbie" as it was loaded up and taken away the last day.

Was it worth it? Have we seen any changes? I think as the parents who are with Aleks every day that is a hard question to answer. I will say that both Bill and I feel like we have seen some really positive changes post HBOT. I feel like during HBOT treatments her words were easier for her to find and that her emotions were more even keel. It also seemed like making transitions were easier and less dramatic for her. Since we were gone last week it will be interesting to see how this week goes for her. My hope is that the changes we saw with HBOT are still there this week. It wouldn't be fair to her to say whether or not we're still seeing progress since she was out of her regular routine last week and usually reacts more emotional to change. My hope is that the progress is still in tact and that this week will be another one of moving forward towards healing.

*BTW, I think we did about 20-23 dives @ an average of 60 minutes day.

Blessings xo Melissa