Having a child with Asperger’s Syndrome (autism spectrum)
means having a child with some quirks.
As her mother, I love that she has these quirks and isn’t concerned
about always fitting in. As her mother I
also struggle watching other kids whisper about her and parents judge her
because of her quirks. My grace tank
reached ‘E’ the other day, when at a Brownie event I saw all the other girls
pick a buddy for a fieldtrip and her be left out. I watched as the Brownie leaders decided to assign
buddies and still the other girls rejected her.
Okay, now I’m angry and sad again!
I keep telling myself that none of us deserves grace and
that I have to give it over to God to fill me up. I keep telling myself that it will be okay,
but my heart hurts and I just want to hurt someone else for hurting my
girl. At seven she doesn’t always see
the rejection that I see. She gets angry
that she isn’t picked but she doesn’t understand why. I get it and yet I don’t understand. Do mean girls really start at 7? Why are girls here more judgmental and mean
when almost all the girls in MN were kind and accepting. Is this a geographical difference in kids or
a socio-economic difference in the community we’re in? I’m not sure, but I don’t like it – not one
little bit.
So now you see why my grace tank is on empty. I am tired of having to show grace to mean
people. I am tired of trying to make my
daughter fit in with girls who don’t like her because she is different. I’m tired of the gossiping of adults and the
ostracizing of little girls. I’m tired
and my grace tank is on fumes.
xo Mel
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4 comments:
I am so sorry. I feel this way a lot as well. Even though my little girl doesn't notice, it still hurts to see her treated differently. I have found that there is not a lot that can be said to ease that except that you are not alone. I hope you find some comfort!
It is so frustrating watching that happen to your child. I have a boy with Aspergers who is now nearly 13. I didn't see a ton of what I would call "mean" behavior with his male peers. On the other hand I can tell you that I have a NT girl 3 yrs younger and "mean girls" are totally true and start early. I wish I had some sage advice for you. But all I can say is...give her lots of love, let her know that you accept her...quirks and all. Have faith...she will find a good friend along the way. She had friends in MN...she'll make some there as well I'm sure of it.
Melissa, I live in Franklin TN and have 12 year old twins with autism. I listen to your radio show and have been meaning to check out your blog for months. Sorry you are having trouble finding your place here. I promise that not everyone in this area is so insensitive. We have actually been very blessed with our children being accepted by the other children. They just started middle school this summer, so I am holding my breath and hoping that the kids will continue to be sweet and accepting. If you ever want to get together, look me up on facebook . I am Dana Phillips Tucker. Welcome to the area.
I heard you on the radio today talking about how your doctor won't see your daughter anymore because you aren't doing anymore vaccinations. We are about 2 hours south of you guys in Huntsville and are non-vax. It took us a while to find someone to see the kids but we now go to a great PA/Naturopath who loves our kids and treats us with respect. I know there is a strong non-vax community in Nashville and I hope you will be able to find people who will support you with whatever decisions you make for your family. Here is a great website for a chiropractic office in Nashville and you may even be able to find friendly doctors through this office. You might already know about it but I just thought I'd pass it along in case it is helpful: http://www.draxe.com/ Thanks for sharing your struggles. This is such a difficult issue for our generation...and when the "issue" is no longer theoretical, but is the daily life struggle of someone you love, you need support, understanding, encouragement, and help. I'm praying that you all find deep friendships and that the South is good to you!
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