Dear God, Please Send Friends

We are now here and living in Nashville, TN! We were fortunate enough to sell our home in MN and buy a home close to a wonderful school for Aleks. My hope was that when it came time to update this blog that life would be settled down and Aleks would be well adjusted and happy. Well...have you ever heard the saying, 'Want to make God laugh?...Then tell him your plans.'

I think that I had forgotten that saying until just now. This move and our adjustment remind me that life happens in God's timing and his schedule.

What this move has taught me is that for a child with autism, a major move is more difficult than any of us (especially me) ever counted on. I thought I understood how difficult a new school and leaving her friends would be. What I didn't realize is that for her, the friendships were her family. For Aleks the friendships she had were vital to her stability and happiness. She had cultivated these friendships for the past several years in MN and leaving them left a hole in her heart. She talks about her friends all the time and she misses them every day. A lot of autistic children have trouble connecting and make true friendships. A lot...but not all autistic children. I remember her teacher in MN telling me that Aleks has real friendships and to make sure her new teacher knows this. She had read the opposite and wanted me to know that Aleks opened her eyes about this subject.

My hope and prayer for her is that she makes those same kinds of friendships here. I worry that the move was too much on her. I worry that I somehow failed her by making her leave all that she knew. I am scared that it is taking so long for her to make friends and feel connected. I'm scared of her acting up in class because she is nervous. I don't share these fears with many people because there is part of me that feels like by saying them out loud they'll be more real. The problem is that my fears have kept me silent and I've promised to share the good and bad in this blog. As always I hope that by sharing the truth of what we're going through it will help all of us grow and learn.

Blessings xo Melissa

A Move and Changes are Ahead...

Whenever I look at this picture, it makes me happy and sad all at the same time. Why? Well, because this picture is everything we've loved about living in Minnesota and what will make it so hard to say good-bye as we move and leave for TN. We had to tell Aleks recently that we're moving and leaving behind her friends, which really are our family, to go someplace unknown.

It is with great sadness and joy that we are leaving. We're sad to leave behind our friends and we're filled with joy at what God has ahead for us as a family in Nashville.

Telling an autistic child that a major change is ahead was scary for us and for her. We weren't sure how she would handle it and whether she would totally grasp the changes ahead. The good news is that she got it, she totally understood that TN would mean leaving MN and moving away. The sad news is that since she got it, she has told us she doesn't want to leave. Besides the reasoning of leaving friends and her school, she said that she doesn't want to leave because, "Mommy, Minnesota has all of my favorite letters in it....M...N..."! She also said that we have to tell our real estate that we want a new house, but in MN, not TN! Pretty funny stuff. She is getting better about moving. What I've learned is that she does understand more then I give her credit for and that she really needs this extra time to process and deal with the move.

As we're preparing for the move, it also means finding the right school and teacher. That for me is the scariest part and hardest part. I know that we really get one shot at moving and getting the right school. We can't ask her to keep making changes so we need to move from MN into her 'forever' home in TN. We also need to make sure that the school is right and can provide for her. She will need the stability of having a home and school that won't be changing anytime soon. For that reason, I ask for your prayers in selling our home quickly so that we can give that to her. BTW, I will continue our blog in TN.

xo

Melissa